Why Social Networks Particularly Suck

You know why the featured image of this post is a garbage truck piling more garbage on a heaping pile of smelly garbage? Because that’s what social media is feeding you today: garbage.

There doesn’t need to be another blog post about how social networks have actually made us worse human beings and deteriorated the very fabric that makes us human. Everyone reading this post has already experienced the bullshit of sitting with friends at a table in a restaurant and having an overwhelming majority of them burying their faces into their shitty iPhones to look at petty photos of Dan Bilzerian or some no-name model on Instagram or gawking at vacation pictures on Facebook – because idolizing another person’s life through your phone is clearly more valuable than the company of your friends that you’ve clearly chosen to spend your evening with. The literature surrounding the anti-social aspects of social media ranges from scholarly articles to nonsense blog posts about how websites and apps like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have warped our values of self-worth down to a “Like” or “Favorite” or any other numerically measurable tap on your phone screen to generate more ad revenue for the tech industry giants that make money off the time you waste.

There’s nothing technologically “advanced” about any social media app or network – their just CPU-sucking pieces of bloatware that consume space in your phone, chew up your data, and distract you from life’s harsh realities. Why do these apps particularly suck? Because they convince you, the hungry consumer, to install their shitty apps on your phone so they can suck you dry of every bit of information you might carry on your smartphone. Ever bother to actually look at the permissions you have to give apps like Facebook and Twitter before you install them on your phone? No? Well, here’s what your giving these multi-billion dollar companies every minute your phone is on:

Facebook’s App Permissions on Android (Credit: http://www.droidfeed.org/2015/05/xprivacy-for-android-lollipop-xda.html)
Twitter App Permissions on Android (Credit: https://cipsecure.com/2015/04/biggest-problem-with-android-app-permissions/)


Why on earth does Twitter need access to your microphone? Why does Facebook need to read your call log? Or download files without notification? Because these money hungry garbage feeders are looking for any which way to take your identity and guzzle more useless ads into your screen. That’s all social media does – it feeds you shitty ads by steeling your information and tailoring your news feeds to serve you… more shitty ads. These companies don’t mass produce anything tangible that benefits you – they’ve essentially created a virtual reality space that mimics something we’ve all had since 1997 – email. And why do I need to install that crappy app to begin with? What does your app do that the mobile site can’t? Oh, that’s right – data mine all my personal information. No thanks.

“But I use Facebook to stay in touch with family” – No, you use Facebook to stalk your ex. Want to stay in touch with family? Get off your lazy ass, stop “Liking” their bullshit vacation pictures and actually go on vacation with them – or, I don’t know, maybe you can see them in person? Call them? Hand write them a letter?

“But I need twitter to stay updated on the news” – Twitter doesn’t give you news. It gives you bullshit headlines in 140 characters or less. That’s not news. That’s you scrolling down a page and reading soundbite information to get you to click on a link that serves you more ads. 

Remember the internet pre-Facebook when you actually read quality content without all the crap cluttering the page trying to sell you Christian Singles or diet pills because we’re too lazy to actually hit a gym or walk?



And then there’s this bullshit that you see today, which is actually very indicative of modern culture: high in materialism and lacking in meaningful content with a hint of deception to make a quick buck.


Keep clicking on garbage. It only makes the wealthy wealthier.